Campus is starting to quiet down, late on a Friday afternoon. All the normal people have left or are actively leaving. Why am I still here?
Today is Friday, which at Egan’s means Gary was the coach this morning. Gary’s is the voice that sticks in your head, pushing you even when he’s not there. For me it’s, “That’s a nice pace…” [smile, somewhat surprised] “for a marathon. Faster, faster, faster!” We look forward to Fridays with Gary.
One of the questions he asked the group today was, “Are you interested? And are you committed?” Interest gets you started when something is new. Commitment keeps you going when you don’t want to be there.
Let me be clear: I don’t want to be here right now.
I want to be home with Lisa, reflecting on the week that has ended and looking forward to the long weekend ahead. Maybe enjoying a snack of cheese, some fresh sliced tomato and avocado, a glass of wine as sunset approaches.
Not that this a bad place to be. I mean, I’m sitting outside in the courtyard by Sakamaki, enjoying a cool breeze, listening to the marching band practice in the distance, and strangely enough only now realizing that I can see Diamond Head right in front of me. But I’m here for one reason: to write. I set out to write something each day, with the plan being to make it short and manageable. By writing something even when I want to be someplace else, I get one step closer to reinforcing this habit.
It’s like a form of conditioning exercise. It might be painful to push yourself hard through Gary’s class, but the results are worth it–for example, when you find yourself hauling tents and tables up the stairs to the HBL office after the Century Ride. (BTW, I’m not ashamed to use “couldn’t lift my arms” as the excuse not to write something on Sunday.) I might not be writing about something specific I want to cover, but I’m building the routine and the mental conditioning necessary for it.
I’m becoming committed.
Hopefully not the long, white, wrap-around jacket type of committed, but you never know.
Last week I had some extra time and rode downtown to Lisa’s office after work. This week I’ve worked full days but have also wanted to keep writing. Knowing that I need a different environment than at home, I decided to find a spot on campus to write. It works out doubly well; not only do I get to write but also get to wait for the sun to go down so it’s not as intense on the ride home. That’s how I ended up here in this courtyard.
As Steven Pressfield wrote in The War of Art, if you sit down to write, you’ll write. It might not be good, but you won’t be at a loss for ideas. Today I just needed to sit and look around to come up with this idea. Maybe Fridays are made for this sort of reflection–real Fridays, with a weekend ahead. After 18 years of rotating shift work, it still can feel strange when Friday-as-a-calendar-day and Friday-as-a-work-schedule actually line up.
Well, the marching band seems to have finished their practice and the sun’s a little lower in the sky. I’ll take those as signs to wrap this up and head home. I wonder what awaits…